The Mid-Atlantic, USA

I arrived in Columbia on the afternoon of the 13th. On each of the past two Megabuses I had taken (Houston to New Orleans and Nashville to Atlanta), there was one man who wouldn't stop talking to whoever would listen for the entire ride. This bus ride was a reprieve from that pattern. Everyone just wanted to nap or listen to music, and I was very thankful for that.

The bus dropped us off in a mall outside of town. I hadn't eaten yet, and a quick Google search pointed me in the direction of the best cheapish food nearby. I treated myself to a nice BBQ sandwich and then took an Uber over to Claudia's apartment. I arrived there before she did - she lives with three sorority sisters and they all welcomed me very nicely despite my connection to the apartment not being around. Two of them were working on homework (very studious! I'm impressed), but Cari and I made small talk - Thanksgiving plans, funny stories from my trip, etc. - until Claudia arrived. At that point it was nearly six, so we went to a bar nearby and had dinner and a few drinks. I am the third oldest cousin, and Claudia is the ninth, so in our childhood we often did not have time to spend one-on-one. To be fair, that's my fault: I wanted to hang out with the older kids... I bet Claudia did too, but that didin't happen as much. In any case, we had several hours to talk, just the two of us, adult to adult, without any of the performativity that is in play when surrounded by all the extended family on vacation. It was inspiring to hear about her plans to backpack after she graduates and how she's going to explore Europe on her semester abroad in a few months. We firmed up our plans to see our grandmother's hometown in southern Italy together in March. How exciting!

The next day, Claud had some work to do and a class to attend, so she dropped me off the the Horseshoe, one of the central greens at University of South Carolina (USC). I sat and watched the undergrands play frisbee and listened in to a little bit of a college tour. It was hilarious to watch the 17 year olds on the tour glance around after asking a question or making a quip, seemingly jockeying for social position among a group of people they would most likely never see again. After about 45 minutes of observing the green, I started playing my guitar, working on some songs I've been writing on the road. (When I get some decent demos of them, they'll be up in the "New Songs" section of the website.) After a little while, a gorup of three students came up to me and asked if they could sit next to me, saying they liked my energy and my guitar playing. Of course I said yes. We began to talk, and it turned out that they were not USC students, but students at South Carolina Leadership University, a tiny Christian school in Columbia.

I was happy to find that they were not evangelizing. The three of them were from Florida, and were first and second year students. A ring on one student's finger lead me to believe she was either married or engaged. I tried to find out more about them but they kept diverting the conversation back to me and what I was doing, my trip and the reasons behind it. This was a community engagement time period built into their schedule, they eventually explained, a time for them to go out into the community and make connections with the people there. And that day they had chosen to make their connection with me. Eventually, their hour was up and they had to go back to school, but before they left they asked me if they could pray for me. Pray for me! I can't remember the last time a group of people prayed for me and me alone. Of course I said yes. To be honest, part of the non-practicing Christian in me thought I would come away from the experience with a smirk - "Haha, they prayed for me, great, a whole bunch of words into empty air. More for them than for me." How wrong I was. The woman with the ring on her finger said a beautiful spontaneous prayer asking Lord God to grant me protection and creativity on the journey and asking Him to help me see and hear all the things I needed to as I went through the world. She touched on many things I had mentioned in passing while talking to them. It was active and engaged listening turned into recognition and validation of my plans, with a dose of higher power thrown in. As they left I felt so warm and fuzzy inside. I couldn't keep a smile off my face all day. Even now, as I write this, I am grinning.

That night Claudia showed me around the sorority house where she used to live, and then made an incredible kale salad garnished with chicken. A few friends came over and we drank wine and played Cards Against Humanity. It reminded me of my days at school.

And the next day it was Friendsgiving! I felt honored to be invited to a Friendsgiving full of people who had never met me, and I spent most of the day shopping and cooking to show my gratitude. I made green beans and candied yams with marshmallows (two dishes! not one! that would be gross!). The spread that evening was impressive - turkey, stuffing, two things of mashed potatoes, two things of gravy, two things of green beans, rolls, baked brie, stuffed bread, caprese, cranberry sauce, mac and cheese, scalloped potatoes, and three pies. I'm sure I'm missing a dish or two. Anyways, between the nearly twenty of us we finished 90% of the food. I was very impressed. And everyone was so nice to me! People made an effort to talk to me and I felt so welcomed, not awkward for even a second, even though I was the only male there for most of the evening (until they looked at the leftovers and cried "call the boyfriends!!").

And then next day I made my way to Durham, where my friend Anders from Wesleyan is currently doing a PhD in Biomedical Engineering. I got in pretty late and the first night was very mellow. We hung out around the house, Anders and his roommate Darian and his friend Taylor and I. I woke up late the next day, and Anders and Darian were already at class and work. So I took a nice walk through Duke's East Campus and into the main part of town. Something I noticed in both Columbia and Durham is the brick. Most of the collegiate buildings in Columbia were red brick - in the Horseshoe, every building was mostly brick with marble trim. It tied together all the buildings and made everything feel more regal. And I know that the main campus of Duke is known for its Gothic architecture, but in the East Campus every building was made of brick as well. And downtown Durham used to be almost entirely tobacco warehouses and production, as I learned while I was there. Almost every building on Main Street is a converted tobacco warehouse, and were all made of brick in the same style. I wonder if the brick was used because that was the style of the era or because there is a lot of red clay in the soil in the Carolinas. Or both?

I had some Noth Carolina BBQ for lunch and made my way back home. That evening, we went to a house party in Raleigh, thrown by some people that had gone to high school with Anders and Darian. I had a great time making new friends. And I got shot with a Nerf gun! I think most people at that party got shot with the Nerf gun. More people were surprised that my name was Tennessee in that house than in the entirety of Nashville. We didn't get home til nearly 4 am.

Anders had a soccer match to play at around noon the next day. So we picked up some teammates, including a man named Erasmo who was doing a PhD in history and was actually born and raised in Venice (harder and harder to find nowadays as Venice becomes more and more of a European Disneyland, as Erasmo explained). The team was very multinational - I met players from Italy, China, Estonia, and Peru. I sat on the side and was their cheerleader, but unfortunately they lost. To the best team in the league! So they didn't feel quite as bad. The afternoon was spent napping after the long night before, and then we went and saw some American roots music and ate North Carolina BBQ at a venue called the Blue Note in Durham. Straight after, we went to another house party, this one thrown by a PhD student that Anders knows. And there was beer pong! Quite frankly, I didn't expect there to be beer pong at a PhD party. I thought it would be more conversations with five-syllable words and less racous cries of "island!" and "rerack!" punctuated by the sounds of ping-pong balls bouncing on a table or the floor. But I guess some things never change. My generation was taught that partying necessarily includes beer pong. Perhaps no amount of alphabet soup after our names will undo that habit.

Again, we were out until 4 am. I don't think I've ever partied until 4 am two nights in a row, even in undergrad. Thanks for the memories, Ders! It was a helluva weekend.

And on Sunday I took a bus to Washington DC. Unfortunately, the two people I thought I would be staying with were both out of town for the few days I was going to be there, so I cut my stay from three nights to two nights. Many many thanks to Abe Silk and Aaron Piesner for putting me up with such short notice. I got in late and went straight to Abe's - he lives walking distance from Union Station. And the next day I got lunch at Toki Underground, a hip ramen spot on H street, and then strolled around the National Mall. The Botanical Gardens had an exhibit up for the holidays which consisted of iconic DC buildings made out of plant matter. So I saw the real Supreme Court and Capitol Building and Washington Monument and the plant versions of the Supreme Court and Capitol Building and Washington Monument. It was very funny to see them all small and green/brown instead of the normal large imposing white marble. It helped to humanize and demystify them, to make them buildings rather than storied institutions. Also, the Botanical Gardens were heated, a welcome relief from the pre-Thanksgiving cold in DC. I was wearing gloves and a scarf all day, even carrying around my heavy backpack.

Aaron was the choir director of an opera that was going up at University of Maryland that night, so I took the metro up there and watched with him from the audience. It was a Mozart opera about the Roman Emperor Tito and his wisdom even when faced with the treason of his best friend. All the actors were masters students in opera performance, and it was nice to see people about my age with that level of vocal projection and talent. There were some incredible arias. However, I felt that the melodies of some of the expository parts of the script were fluff. I think I would have preferred hearing only the arias.

The opera lasted about two and a half hours, and at that point it was pretty late so we went back to Aaron's and soon were asleep. The next morning I left around 10 to catch the bus to New York for Thanksgiving. My initial plan, many months ago, had me going to Philadelphia first. But as it all got closer, I realized all my friends were going to be home for Thanksgiving, not in Philadelphia, so it made no sense to go there for Thanksgiving. I wouldn't even be able to have a Friendsgiving! So I changed my plans and went all the way north to New York to be with my family for the holiday.

It was relaxing to be back in Huntington. I have spent so much time there in my life, and I feel at home in my grandparents' house and in my aunts' houses as well. I got in on Tuesday pretty late, got to see my mom and my brother. I hadn't seen Amory since the summer, and even then it was only for a few hours. It's great to see how well he's doing after a troubled few years.

Wednesday I saw my cousin Chiara (two months older than me) and her boyfriend James. Again, I cherish the ability to have more personal conversations outside of the realm of family vacations. They're thinking of buying a house - wow! That's not something I could even begin to wrap my head around at this point in my life. And Thanksgiving day was spent bopping around Huntington, at my cousin Rocco's for a few hours, at two great-aunts' houses for a little while, and then suit shopping with my mother to dress me up all nice on the Queen Mary 2. I had never been shopping on Thanksgiving Day before. Macy's was mobbed, but the suit was so cheap that it made the hubbub totally worth it. Our Thanksgiving meal was done at a restaurant, another first for me. It was just four of us - Amory, Rocco, my mom, and me. A low stress Thanksgiving! I had some misgivings when I first heard the plan but ended up having a great time, enjoying the lack of prep and clean-up required and relishing the food, company, and conversation.

And the next day I took the train to NYC and a bus to Philly. But this update is already really long and I don't want to bore you, so I will detail all the Philadelphiadventures from the last few days in the next one.

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone. I am grateful for each and every one of you (especially if you made it all the way to the bottom of this update!!).